I need better patience
From my vacations to my relationships to aquarc, I've found some problems with how I look at the world and how I can improve my patience, and my team in general.
I've spent the last few days on vacation. While this place is beautiful, not everything is going according to plan. The long car rides, the inability to call my collagues and the promised efficiency ramp-up that aquarc was supposed to have when winter break started are making my life a bit more stressful.
I always knew startups have a bad work-life balance. And I'm okay with that, because time management is something I've seeked to improve anyway. I'm fine with staying up late working on some documents or code that will pay off in the long run.
I find it hard to understand that not everyone is motivated by the innate desire to create something better for all students just like them and not everyone is willing to work the long hours I put in either. That's beyond my control so it's something I'll have to put to teh side.
Frequently during the vacation, my fingers twitch and I grab my phone to check if my collagues have any questions or updates. This problem is something I've been trying to avoid for a long time now, but it seems to only get worse around this time, especially considering New Year's Eve is two days away. Some of my colleagues are unresponsive, some just leave me on read when I ask questions and some take days to respond. None of that's in my control.
So here's what I can do to make things better for the team and move aquarc forward.
I understand the importance of fast execution and the pile of customer feedback and tasks to be accomplished only irritate me because they sit there and remain unfinished. It feels like nothing has been accomplished, even though structurally I've changed the way I thought about the team, formalized the onboarding procedure, came up with a concrete plan for the future and learned plenty of new technologies.
In about a week, I'll be back from vacation and I'll be able to focus on my team. The first thing I need to do is call every single person working with me and figure out their blockers and how aquarc can accommodate them. From what I understand about most high schoolers, they are subject to both the demands of their school and their parents and that leaves odd wiggle room for everything else. Not to mention, most of them suck at time management, including myself.
Ideally, firstly I would give every employee what motivation they seek. Then, I would cut their reliance on me, and then help build their trust with each other. After all, behind every successful startup is a very strong team.
I think everyone needs a break from my constant pushing. I also want to see what level of intrinsic motivation everyone has, so I'm going to "offload" Signal for a week. I'll keep it on my laptop to check it out from time to time, but a full-on "in the moment" break will probably help more than harm.
It might entirely kill my team or it might work on it's own. Either way, the only way I can really "help" my team is by calling them 1 on 1 when I get back.
I read about how quickly standardizing procedures within the startups can help solidify the startup quickly and give it room to grow. I standardized the onboarding process last night, and I'll have to work with each person to standardize their school-work-life balance individually.
I'll focus on what I can control going forward.
Took a break, practiced some box breathing. I'll wish a friend New Year's and that'll be the last time I use my phone. Going forward I'll finish writing some AP Lang sample essays, study materials and reading all sorts of books.
When I'm back, I'll hopefully understand how to be a better motivater. And maybe my patience will stick around.
Edit later that night: It's really hard to break habits like these. It'll be a while before I can resist that urge again.
Tags: waste-of-time, reflection